I arrive on a small boat to the UK. Oh dear, I have no documentation, so I must be illegal. But I worked for the British in Afghanistan. Well, did you not know there is a form for people like you who are from Afghanistan that you can fill in and therefore come to the UK legally?
How many people have used that route In the last year? Non. Now I wonder why that is.
Well, people fill in the form, send it in, and oh dear, it takes forever for the UK to reply, and often they say you have filled in the wrong form, and you need to start again with the right one, so I guess lots more months of waiting for a reply.
So why do you need to come to the Uk? Well, because I worked for the UK government when you were in Afghanistan, I was in hiding because the Taliban wanted to kill me for working for the UK. So, apply properly to come to the UK.
Another problem is that; the UK government wanted their form completed and a passport, birth certificate, and children's passports (The Taliban will not issue children's passports). The UK wanted an adoption certificate for some children, but no such document exists in Afghanistan.
To make matters worse, the UK insisted that each document is endorsed by the country's government, the Taliban. The problem with that is they are the people trying to kill me. If I apply to them, they will know where I am hiding, so I will be killed. I think I will run away and get there by small boat. Oh, but then you will be illegal. Yes, but alive!